Hence, This week's TOP TEN...

Top 10 Things Bob Toledo Told UCLA Players During The Texas Game.

10. Raise your hand if you haven't scored yet.

9. Raise your hand if your mother is here and she would like to see you play quarterback in the second half.

8. Yes, I know their fans are running out of the stadium faster than their backs are running down the field.

7. Not they're not saying "Let's go Little Earl"...it's "Let's go, Gotta hurl".

6. Line up in front of their defensive line...just don't get near the exit ramps. We don't want anyone hurt.

5. I don't know what that little cannon is for.

4. No matter how much they beg, Texas football recruits cannot sign with us until February.

3. Yes, I'm sure we told them this is a real game.

2. Wow, I've never seen 46,000 students wedged in an exit ramp before. Must be one of those frat things.

1. Darrel K. Royal? He's the guy on the ladder over there prying his name off the stadium.