| Alabama: | At Least We're not Mississippi |
| Alaska: | 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! |
| Arizona: | Dehyd-rific! |
| Arkansas: | Litterasy Ain't Everthing |
| California: | Se Habla Ingles |
| Colorado: | If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother |
| Connecticut: | Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character |
| Delaware: | |
| Florida: | The Gunshine State |
| Georgia: | We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism |
| Hawaii: | Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) |
| Idaho: | Famous Potatoes ... and Neo-Nazis |
| Illinois: | Gateway to Iowa |
| Indiana: | 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free |
| Iowa: | Land of James T. Kirk |
| Kansas: | First Of The Rectangle States |
| Kentucky: | Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names |
| Louisiana: | We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign |
| Maine: | For Sale |
| Maryland: | A Thinking Man's Delaware |
| Massachusetts: | The Sue Me State |
| Michigan: | First Line of Defense From the Canadians |
| Minnesota: | Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds |
| Mississippi: | Come Feel Better About Your Own State |
| Missouri: | You're Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work |
| Montana: | Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else |
| Nebraska: | Ask About Our State Motto Contest |
| Nevada: | Whores and Poker! |
| New Hampshire: | Go Away and Leave Us Alone |
| New Jersey: | You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! |
| New Mexico: | Lizards Make Excellent Pets |
| New York: | You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney |
| North Carolina: | Tobacco is a Vegetable |
| North Dakota: | Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones! |
| Ohio: | Don't Judge Us by Cleveland |
| Oklahoma: | Like the Play Only No Singing |
| Oregon: | Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner |
| Pennsylvania: | Cook With Coal |
| Rhode Island: | We're Not REALLY An Island |
| South Carolina: | Incest is Best |
| South Dakota: | Closer Than North Dakota |
| Tennessee: | The Educashun State |
| Texas: | Don't Mess with Texas -- We're Armed |
| Utah: | Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus |
| Vermont: | Yep |
| Virginia: | Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? |
| Washington: | Keep Washington Green, Grow Hemp |
| Washington, D.C.: | Wanna Be Mayor? |
| West Virginia: | One Big Happy Family -- Really! |
| Wisconsin: | Come Cut Our Cheese |
| Wyoming: | Wynot |